i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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