im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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