I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
