Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
