I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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