He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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