I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
