I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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