I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Randomize