Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You were trust falling into bushes
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
