you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
