So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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