she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
