I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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