There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize