I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize