1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
