Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it's like iHOP with fire
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
