god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
