i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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