You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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