lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
