taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
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LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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I have already put on my inside pants.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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