There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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