Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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