she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
