There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
