I look better un-naked...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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