im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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