shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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