She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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