it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
