wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
