I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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