My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
