How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im having a threesome with these popsicles
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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