Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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