meet me or not, i'm out of control
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
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My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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