I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
