I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
