Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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