its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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