we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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