Can Purell be used as lube?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize