just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
