no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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