if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
