Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
try to milk me bitch
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
