im holly from the hills drunk
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
