just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
NoShamevember. You game?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
