How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
