she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
