I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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