As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You made out with two different species that night
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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