I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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