You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
