For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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